Rúben Amorim’s tenure at Manchester United has officially entered the history books — not for glory, not for trophies, but for sheer, unfiltered mediocrity. With a win rate of just 33.3%, Amorim is now proudly the worst-performing Manchester United manager in 94 years. That’s not an opinion — that’s math. And unlike his tactics, math doesn’t lie.

Let’s break it down: Amorim has managed 25 Premier League games. He’s won six. Six. That’s the kind of stat you’d expect from a mid-table caretaker manager, not someone tasked with reviving one of the most storied clubs in football history. For perspective, flipping a coin gives you a 50% chance. Amorim? A generous 33.3%. At this point, the team might as well roll dice before kick-off — they’d probably get better results.

Setting Records — The Wrong Kind

Under Amorim, United are winless in eight consecutive league games, equalling one of the worst streaks in club history. And if you think that’s rock bottom, think again.

A 0–2 home defeat to West Ham didn’t just sting — it tied a club record for the most home losses in a single season: nine. Yes, nine. At Old Trafford. The Theatre of Dreams is starting to look more like the Basement of Nightmares.

And it’s not just about numbers — it’s the football. Lifeless, uninspired, confused. United don’t just lose — they collapse with style. The kind of style that makes opposing teams look like prime Barcelona and fans question life choices.

Amorim’s Legacy?

Let’s be honest: Amorim wasn’t walking into a perfect situation. But turning Manchester United into a punchline wasn’t on anyone’s bingo card. Post-match pressers have gone from strategic analysis to vague motivational speeches sprinkled with existential dread. “It’s not just on the pitch,” he says. No kidding, Rúben. At this point, even the Old Trafford pigeons have stopped showing up.

Can He Save Himself?

Miraculously, United still have a shot at silverware in the Europa League. If Amorim can somehow lift a trophy, it might soften the embarrassment. But unless he finds a way to turn this dumpster fire into something resembling football, his name may forever be attached to the darkest chapter of United’s modern history.

And for fans wondering what’s next: maybe a coin toss really is the way forward. It’s cheaper, faster, and — based on current numbers — way more efficient than Rúben Amorim.